Post 8; Script workshop 1

For our coursework we have been given the task of producing a short film. As a group we decided to continue with our opening from AS as we were really happy with the outcome and had come up with an original idea of focusing on sexual grooming.

We took our original script and used it as a starting point and worked out what we wanted to happen in the film. We each took responsibility for writing certain scenes, this worked well as it meant we got to put our own ideas into it, it also meant that we got the first draft done quicker than if we had all done all of it, leaving more time to redo it and make it better. We then sat and read through what we had so far, making suggestions and pointing out errors and mistakes which were inevitable.

Having all our different scenes together we were then able to discuss the characters and how they should be portrayed. We decided that Alan should be shown as a caring father and that the audience should be confused about whether he is grooming Sophie or if it's her imagination or even Alan’s imagination as the story would be told from his point of view.

When we were near completion we sent a copy of our script off to a BBC script writer, Dudi Appleton who is the writer for programmes such as silent witness. He read our script and sent back useful feedback which we will use to continue improving it.

Feedback from script writer- Dudi Appleton

This is a very well written script. It is very good indeed. CONGRATULATIONS!!! Here are some thoughts to make it excellent.

One line reviews – UP – A fatherless child finding a father and a childless man finding a child.

At the moment if one were to write a one line review it would read ‘A father seduces a friend of his daughters and gets caught.’

This doesn’t ask a lot of questions. As it stands it is more of an anecdote rather than a story (told in a linear fashion ie first this happened, then this, then that).

What is your script telling us? How is your script enlightening us? What is the expectation you are setting up with the audience?

For example the audience might be lead to believe it’s a story about sex, but it is really about power.

Try and tell the story so it is more compelling and put the story into the context of a genre. The story needs to be told in an unexpected way.

Somebody has to do something different to what we expect.

For example – in the feature film Hard Candy- what you thought was the story wasn’t (genre- thriller).

For example the dad is completely innocent. This would work if the dad’s role was more subtle. Sophie is the aggressor- but the audience are in the shoes of Sophie.

At the moment the ending doesn’t add anything.

No ending- it could simply be in a look eg between Sophie and the father or Sophie and Paige- this would ask more questions.

Also at this point we got three of our friends to sit and read through the script as if they were the actors in the film. We did this to ascertain its strengths and weaknesses before moving on with the next draft so we could work on improving them.

Over all as a group I think we worked well and as a result our script will be reflection of this.